Questioning Expectations
“Let it sink in”, one of them said as we reached the camp site. But there wasn’t any space left for the sinking in. The channels were blocked. I stood there wondering whether this was going to be it then – a corked bottle that floats for miles but, by its nature, never sinks.
I haven’t written in months. Maybe beginning this now, is a step in the other direction. Which direction, though?
Anchors
There is something profound that I picked up though. The direction you take is but contingent. Whether the road is laid out for you or not, the anchors that you hold on to, through your journey, will define what you become.
They will keep you from drifting. They will hold you back too. They will prevent you from slipping, and keep you from climbing. They are the reason that you walk, and the means too. They are the reasons that you stop, and the places where you stop too.
These are the things that you build upon, the places where you keep your memories, and the people you have the memories with. Take these anchors away, and you become a child again. Faceless, and at times thoughtless!
Rely too much on them you become a child again. Unsure & Confused without it! Both ways, all that remains is wildness or sorts. A desire to plunge deeper, never hitting the bottom!
A part of me had gone there to get rid of the anchors. But then the choice is hardly your own. Most of the time, they choose you.
Lost & Found
On our way back, it had started to rain when we weren’t even half way to the campsite. So we started walking the fastest that we could. The fastest being different for everyone, we started drifting at different speeds, and at times in different directions.
Getting lost was fun. Getting found was irritating because then you had to walk back to the right spot.
Momentary lapses into emergence.
There were two points, I believe, when the feeling did really sink in. We had to cross a peak and go over to the other side. As we reached the top, the sheer vastness of place swallowed any doubts that I had. That was where I was meant to be.
No. There wasn’t a second one. I thought there was.
Being back
It has been a while since we’ve been back to a city that barely sleeps. My experience may be a little corrupted by now.
You would think that something like this will change your life & embed it with some unexpected experiences. But my mind was in a different place. I wasn’t there. It’s not here now. Can you see me sitting next to you?
I have entered a new phase in my life. And there are still some false impressions as an avalanche
would sound like a distant thunder, or perhaps the other way around. We have made strides into a realm of awareness, I guess. We can identify things for what they are. But it is important to remind ourselves of the most ordinary things – of who you are, and what you want to be; of what your anchors mean for you; about it is that you’re looking for.
Bonus Piece: The Little Things
After walking for 11 hours, a large part of it being drenched in rain, a cup of tea taste like heaven; and the site of a plastic shed heavenly! At times, it is too cold outside & you would spend most of your energy in dealing with the cold. And something as small as a cup of tea (going back to Anchors) can define what you do in those few moments. Can you imagine what an impact a real anchor would have!
“Let it sink in”, one of them said as we reached the camp site. But there wasn’t any space left for the sinking in. The channels were blocked. I stood there wondering whether this was going to be it then – a corked bottle that floats for miles but, by its nature, never sinks.
I haven’t written in months. Maybe beginning this now, is a step in the other direction. Which direction, though?
Anchors
There is something profound that I picked up though. The direction you take is but contingent. Whether the road is laid out for you or not, the anchors that you hold on to, through your journey, will define what you become.
They will keep you from drifting. They will hold you back too. They will prevent you from slipping, and keep you from climbing. They are the reason that you walk, and the means too. They are the reasons that you stop, and the places where you stop too.
These are the things that you build upon, the places where you keep your memories, and the people you have the memories with. Take these anchors away, and you become a child again. Faceless, and at times thoughtless!
Rely too much on them you become a child again. Unsure & Confused without it! Both ways, all that remains is wildness or sorts. A desire to plunge deeper, never hitting the bottom!
A part of me had gone there to get rid of the anchors. But then the choice is hardly your own. Most of the time, they choose you.
Lost & Found
On our way back, it had started to rain when we weren’t even half way to the campsite. So we started walking the fastest that we could. The fastest being different for everyone, we started drifting at different speeds, and at times in different directions.
Getting lost was fun. Getting found was irritating because then you had to walk back to the right spot.
Momentary lapses into emergence.
There were two points, I believe, when the feeling did really sink in. We had to cross a peak and go over to the other side. As we reached the top, the sheer vastness of place swallowed any doubts that I had. That was where I was meant to be.
No. There wasn’t a second one. I thought there was.
Being back
It has been a while since we’ve been back to a city that barely sleeps. My experience may be a little corrupted by now.
You would think that something like this will change your life & embed it with some unexpected experiences. But my mind was in a different place. I wasn’t there. It’s not here now. Can you see me sitting next to you?
I have entered a new phase in my life. And there are still some false impressions as an avalanche
would sound like a distant thunder, or perhaps the other way around. We have made strides into a realm of awareness, I guess. We can identify things for what they are. But it is important to remind ourselves of the most ordinary things – of who you are, and what you want to be; of what your anchors mean for you; about it is that you’re looking for.
Bonus Piece: The Little Things
After walking for 11 hours, a large part of it being drenched in rain, a cup of tea taste like heaven; and the site of a plastic shed heavenly! At times, it is too cold outside & you would spend most of your energy in dealing with the cold. And something as small as a cup of tea (going back to Anchors) can define what you do in those few moments. Can you imagine what an impact a real anchor would have!
